The olympics are eating up my life. Before, I was never interested in dressage, softball or synchronised diving, but now they have all taken on far too much significance. Why do I care if the Kazakstani judo player double ipongs the Latvian underdog? I just do. With a bottle of cheap white wine.

Alex has been staying round for the last couple of weeks as he looks for a flat. He left today leaving loads of washing up to do and general mess, the lazy bastard, so this means that all people from Woodbridge in Suffolk are banned from the house. All of them.

Ooh, I got new glasses and contacts yesterday. Yeah.